One of the toughest parts of being a teacher is not being able to spontaneously scream at your students (I mean, plenty of teachers do just that, but whatever, roll with this for now). So we’d all like to thank teachers all across the internet for coming together to say all of the shit they’ve always wanted to admit to their students that they never did. And hey, not all of it is terrible stuff.
But a lot of it is!
I encourage my worst kids as much or more than my favorites because I don’t want them back in my class next year.
I hate the texts as much as you do, but everyone just shrugs when I suggest changing them up! I’m sorry they made us keep that awful After book on the list, I genuinely offered to buy them all back from students so I could burn the waste of time that they are
One day you’re going to come across people who are not being paid to tolerate you, and all of a sudden life is going to become considerably more difficult
if you’re jacking off in class we can tell
Yes, I do have favorite students. No, I won’t tell you who they are because that would discourage you, but yes they’re probably who you imagine them to be.
I can smell you. Everyone can. Please for the love of god, use deodorant.
EDIT: Thanks for the Gold/Silver! To the people asking why I wouldn’t say this to a student, the answer is twofold:
1. Puberty is a smelly ordeal, and a lot of the kids can’t help it
2. Because god forbid it’s not their fault (infection, a cultural thing, or improper washing of clothes), you don’t want to alienate that student forever.
I knew you were cheating so I gave you a test with the answers in a different order for the rest of the semester. You clearly weren’t very bright to figure it out, and yes I am that spiteful. It was easier than reporting the cheating.
I don’t care that you came to class stoned. Just stop interrupting class, and for gods sake, don’t touch any power tools while you’re stoned.
You know what Johnno? You’re a little cunt
A lot of us probably drink, smoke, sleep around, etc more than you do, and hearing you talking about it and trying to hide it as if its something we wouldn’t know about is richly ironic.
If you’re going to eat in class stop staring at me while you’re doing it! You’re ratting yourself out.
Former HS science teacher: Your small town is ruining you. RUN.
Edit to add: I didn’t graduate high school – I dropped out and got my GED. Then moved on to college.
You’re right, you won’t have to know most of this stuff as you grow up. But most of you you will have to sit in a room with a bunch of peers and listen to someone drone on, then do what they tell you if you want to make a living. If you can’t sit through it now, you’re going to have a much harder time as an adult.
One of the most memorable things a teacher said to me I really glad she did say it to my face.
“I really like you as a person, but I hate you as a student.”
My French teacher told me this when I was in high school, during this period where I was really depressed and on the verge of flunking out. Having her be so honest with me and pointing out that I was wasting my potential made me want to do better and eventually I did.