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Nationals GM Introduces Players To New Stepmanager

WASHINGTON—Hoping to ease the team into a new period of transition, Washington Nationals general manager Mike Rizzo took a moment Wednesday to introduce his players to their new stepmanager. “Everyone, this is Dale. You’re going to be seeing a lot more of him from now on, and I want you make him feel nice and welcome,” said Rizzo of the new addition to the National League East club, explaining that the team may have noticed him hanging around recently and joining in on team dinners in the past weeks, and that he would now officially be a permanent fixture of the dugout. “We want to make him a part of the Nationals family. Just give him a chance, and you’ll see that he cares about you just as much as any other manager would—so I want you to give him all your attention and respect. We know you love your normal manager, but Dale cares about you, too. That means no sass and no pranks, got it?” At press time, the Nationals’ new stepmanager had been overheard referring to several outfielders as “a bunch of little shits,” after they forgot to clean up their helmets after batting practice.

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